Tuesday, September 29, 2009

berhentilah..

Aku mohon berhentilah bermain2..
Hatiku sudah benar2 letih..
Tolong mengertilah..
Aku bukan mainan..
Jangan permainkan lagi..

stupid stupid stupid

Damn..why u always cross my mind..why do I love u so while u'r just playing with me..I always thought that it's real..I was so happy finding someone who loves me from the heart..I was never expected there's somebody else..I thought I was u'r one and only..I trusted every words came out from ur mouth..then what did I get??leaving me here all alone..broken..

I pray for these tears not to fall down on my face any longer..but it still falls down..n I was down deep..crawling for my life..2 survive..

U have no idea how bad the scar is..unfortunately I'm not like other girls u know..I'm like a china..vulnerable..I was trying 2 b a tough one..but seem 2 fail..this is just too much for me to handle at one time..

If I knew that I wasn't the one u wanted beside u..I would not let you in..I would not let myself fall for u..cuz when u'r gone,I will be the one who suffers..

I feel like I'm a fool..letting myself offguard just because I long for a true love..I was so convinced that you brought a true love 4 me..n made my dream came true..just how naïve I am..

stupid me..hoping for something that isn't for me..wanting to reach a star up above with these short hands..dream on..

lelah aku dengan permainan ini

Lelah aku dengan permainan ini..
Tuhan, aku ingin beristirahat sejenak..
Aku sudah mencoba untuk bertahan..
Tetap bermain bersama teman..
Tetap berlari bersama teman..
Namun nafasku sudah tersengal-sengal..
Tak sanggup rasanya mengikuti ritme permainan ini..
Permainan ini bukan untukku..
Tuhan, izinkan lah aku beristirahat..
Mengembalikan energi yang tlah terkuras..
Hingga ku temukan permainan yang sesuai untukku..
Ku mohon..


Jakarta, 29 September 2009
11.55 am

my heart.. my love..

Did I ask you to come into my life?? I did not..
Did I ask you to touch my heart?? I did not..
Did I ask you to be in my heart?? I did not..

I was afraid that you were just playing with me.. But you assured me..
I was afraid that this ain’t real.. But you assured me..
I was afraid to be hurt anymore.. But you assured me..

I trusted every words you said..
Nothing in you that I doubted..
I gave my heart for you..
I believe in you so..

I love you even though you are imperfect..
I love you even though you had a dark past..
I accept you wholly as you.. yourself..

All I ever asked was love..
A true simple love..
Was it too much to ask??

Then what did you do to me??
What made me deserve those things you did to me??
What was I doing wrong to you?? To us??

Am I wrong to believe in you??
Am I wrong to trust my heart in you??
Am I wrong to be in love with you??

Can you hear??
This heart of mine is screaming inside..
I wonder when will it fade..

No music is played..
No song is sang..
In this little space of heart..


Jakarta, 29 September 2009
11.30 am

Dedicated to whom I love..you know who you are..

The Meaning

To love is to share life together
to build special plans just for two
to work side by side
and then smile with pride
as one by one, dreams all come true.

To love is to help and encourage
with smiles and sincere words of praise
to take time to share
to listen and care
in tender, affectionate ways.

To love is to have someone special
one who you can always depend
to be there through the years
sharing laughter and tears
as a partner, a lover, a friend.

To love is to make special memories
of moments you love to recall
of all the good things
that sharing life brings
love is the greatest of all.

I've learned the full meaning
of sharing and caring
and having my dreams all come true;
I've learned the full meaning
of being in love
by being and loving with you.

- Kellie Spehn –