an escape

Balas dendam..kalau ngikutin emosi..pengen banget balas dendam..biar even..biar puas hati ini..tapi..apa benar dengan balas dendam akan menyelesaikan??sepertinya sih ga begitu juga.mungkin yang ada bisa-bisa menambah rumit masalah..sama sekali ga menyelesaikan atau bahkan meringankan..

Duluuuu..gw pernah menjalankan prinsip ‘ an eye for an eye’..but I think I’m not good at it..gw sll end up di situasi yang kurang lebih sama dengan sebelumnya..see that??bukannya gw balas dendam..yang ada gw malah nambah rumet masalah gw sendiri..n gw sendiri jg yang mesti ngberesin the mess..

Gw pengen banget melarikan diri dari masalah-masalah gw..yg menghantui gw dan mengacak-acak emosi gw akhir-akhir ini..tapi ternyata moral akhir dari melarikan diri ini adalah juga ga ada gunanya..gw masih aja berada di titik yang itu-itu juga..dan semua tetap sama..tidak ada yang berubah menjadi lebih baik..

Yang pasti gw dah bersikap seperti seorang pengecut..yang bisanya melarikan diri dari keadaan..yaah..mungkin gw ga bijaksana dengan seperti ini..tapi dengan keterbatasan otak gw, gw cuma kepikiran ini..meskipun sangat pengecut..dan hanya memindahkan masalah gw ke ruang dan waktu yang berbeda..

Entahlah..pikiran ini lagi ga jelas..walaupun sadar kalau yang gw lakuin ini ga bener..

when you say you love me

Like the sound of silence calling,
I hear your voice and suddenly
I'm falling, lost in a dream.
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting,
You say those words and my heart stops beating.
I wonder what it means.
What could it be that comes over me?
At times I can't move.
At times I can hardly breath.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there's no one else alive

You're the one I've always thought of.
I don't know how, but I feel sheltered in your love.
You're where I belong.
And when you're with me if I close my eyes,
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly
For a moment in time.
Somewhere between the Heavens and Earth ,
And frozen in time,
Oh when you say those words.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there's no one else alive

[bridge:]And this journey that we're on.
How far we've come and I celebrate every moment.
And when you say you love me,
That's all you have to say.I'll always feel this way.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
In that moment,I know why I'm alive

When you say you love me.
When you say you love me.
Do you know how I love you?


Popularized by Josh Groban

untitled

I know that you don't love me as much as I love you..
I know that you don't want me as much as I want you..
I know that you don't need me as much as I need you..
I know that you don't miss me as much as I miss you..

But I wanna thank you..
For the sweet memories you had given me..
For the colours you gave in my life..
For reminding me of the feeling I almost forget..

I am sorry for not being able to be someone that you want..
I am sorry for things I said and done that hurt you..
I am sorry for being so selfish and burden you..
I am sorry for loving you too much..

Bandung, 13 December 2009
12.26

lucky to have been where i have been

"Lucky to have been where I have been.." penggalan lirik yang dinyanyiin jason mraz n colbie calliat ini bkin gw bpikir u sll bsyukur dg situasi n kondisi yg gw hadapin skrg..

Entah bagaimana mnyenangkannya atau sebaliknya situasi yg b'ulang-ulang tjadi, kita mmg harus sll msyukuriny..bsyukur krn kita msh dberikn ksempatan oleh-Nya merasakan segala hal yang diberikan oleh situasi tersebut dan mengingatnya selalu..karena sll ada makna dan tujuan dari setiap hal yang terjadi..

Dan pastinya lebih dpt msyukuri dan memaknai apabila situasi yang dihadapi jauh lebih baik dari yang sebelumnya.

the scene

Another scene in my life has shown how it's gonna b ended..
Need to prepare myself for the scene..
I have been in the same scene for several times in this play..
I know how to act in this part..the expressions..the emotions..you name it..I remember every inch of it..
How can I forget this part??
This scene is the favourite part of my Director..
He often picks this kind of scene for me..
He said I need to enhance my skills in acting and get the most from the scene..
I occasionally ask for a subtitution or other scenes..
But He refused my wish..
He insisted me playing the scene..
For my own's good,He reasoned..
And I just can not do His demand, He is the Director of this play..
He who has the most knowledge on what's best for this play to be..
I just hope that someday, he will see my skill as good enough and let me play other scenes..
Scenes that I can only see for times from the backstage..
I wish..

Bandung, 13 December 2009
11.23

maafkan aku ya Allah

Jiwa ini adalah milik-Mu..
Jiwa ini akan kembali pada-Mu..
Namun raga ini akan tertinggal di sini..
Menyatu dengan tanah..

Aku berharap..
Apabila waktu ku di dunia ini telah habis..
Aku dapat menghadap-Mu dengan cahaya..

Aku sadar..
Jiwa dan raga ini dipenuhi dengan hasrat dunia..
Tak jarang digelapkan oleh nikmat dunia..

Semoga Engkau mengampuniku..

hang

Tak ku dengar suara di keramaian ini..
Hening..begitu sunyi..

Ku lihat engkau di seberang..
Betapa riang n riuh..

Aku rasa pendengaran ini mulai berkurang..
Mata ini tak dapat melihat dengan jelas..
Dan otak ini mulai enggan bekerja..

Bandung, 12 Desember 2009
19.30