Darkness

by Lord Byron

I had a dream, which was not all a dream.
The bright sun was extinguish'd, and the stars
Did wander darkling in the eternal space,
Rayless, and pathless, and the icy earth
Swung blind and blackening in the moonless air;
Morn came, and went and came, and brought no day,
And men forgot their passions in the dread
Of this desolation; and all hearts
Were chill'd into a selfish prayer for light:
And they did live by watchfires - and the thrones,
The palaces of crowned kings, the huts,
The habitations of all things which dwell,
Were burnt for beacons; cities were consumed,
And men were gathered round their blazing homes
To look once more into each other's face;
Happy were those who dwelt within the eye
Of the volcanos, and their mountain-torch:
A fearful hope was all the world contain'd;
Forest were set on fire but hour by hour
They fell and faded and the crackling trunks
Extinguish'd with a crash and all was black.
The brows of men by the despairing light
Wore an unearthly aspect, as by fits
The flashes fell upon them; some lay down
And hid their eyes and wept; and some did rest
Their chins upon their clenched hands, and smiled;
And others hurried to and fro, and fed
Their funeral piles with fuel, and looked up
With mad disquietude on the dull sky,
The pall of a past world; and then again
With curses cast them down upon the dust,
And gnash'd their teeth and how
l'd: the wild birds shriek'd,
And, terrified, did flutter on the ground,
And flap their useless wings; the wildest brutes
Came tame and tremolous; and vipers crawl'd
And twined themselves among the multitude,
Hissing, but stingless, they were slain for food:
And War, which for a moment was no more,
Did glut himself again; a meal was bought
With blood, and each sate sullenly apart
Gorging himself in gloom: no love was left;
All earth was but one thought and that was death,
Immediate and inglorious; and the pang
Of famine fed upon all entrails men
Died, and their bones were tombless as their flesh;
The meagre by the meagre were devoured,
Even dogs assail'd their masters, all save one,
And he was faithful to a corpse, and kept
The birds and beasts and famish'd men at bay,
Till hunger clung them, or the dropping dead
Lured their lank jaws; himself sought out no food,
But with a piteous and perpetual moan
And a quick desolate cry, licking the hand
Which answered not with a caress, he died.
The crowd was famish'd by degrees; but two
Of an enormous city did survive,
And they were enemies;
They met beside
The dying embers of an altar-place
Where had been heap'd a mass of holy things
For an unholy usage; they raked up,
And shivering scraped with their cold skeleton hands
The feeble ashes, and their feeble breath
Blew for a little life, and made a flame
Wich was a mockery; then they lifted up
Their eyes as it grew lighter, and
Each other's aspects. saw, and shriek'd, and died, beheld
Even of their mutual hideousness they died,
Unknowing who he was upon whose brow
Famine had written Fiend.
The world was void,
The populous and the powerful was a lump,
Seasonless, herbless, treeless, manless, lifeless,
A lump of death, a chaos of hard clay.
The rivers, lakes, and ocean stood still,
And nothing stirred within their silent depths;
Ships sailorless lay rotting on the sea,
And their masts fell down piecemeal; as they dropp'd
They slept on the abyss without a surge
The waves were dead; the tides were in their grave,
The moon their mistress had expired before;
The winds were withered in the stagnant air,
And the clouds perish'd;
Darkness had no need
Of aid from them.
She was the universe.

The Heart Asks

By Emily Dickinson

The heart asks pleasure first
And then, excuse from pain;
And then those little anodynes
That deaden suffering,
And then to go to sleep
And then, if it should be,
The will of its Inquisitor
The liberty to die!

You Smiled

By Walter Savage Landor

You smiled, you spoke and I believed,
By every word and smile- deceived.
Another man would hope no more;
Nor hope I- what I hoped before.
But let not this last wish be vain;
Deceive, deceive me once again!

When We Broke Up, You Said You'd Always Love Me

By Dimitri Shostakovich

When we broke up, you said you'd always love me.
Always, you said, always we'd be friends.
But soon I saw you wanted nothing of me,
And then I understood that's how it ends.
You said, "Well, it's much harder than I thought."
I guess it's always easier to lie.
You said, "Well, ask me anything you want."
But I was much too frightened to ask why.
I guess it doesn't matter why we failed,
Or why I love you after what you've done,
Or why the harshest truths must be unveiled
After the last train has come and gone.
I miss you and I love you, even though
What happened lies too deep for me to know.

When we two are parted

By Lord Byron

When we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted,
To sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold
Sorrow to this.

The dew of the morning
Sank chill on my brow
It felt like the warning
Of what I feel now.
Thy vows are all broken,
And light is thy fame:
I hear thy name spoken,
And share in its shame.

They name thee before me,
A knell to mine ear;
A shudder comes o'er me
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee too well:
Long, long shall I rue thee
Too deeply to tell.

In secret we met
In silence I grieve
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive.
If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee?
With silence and tears.

a journal of mine part 1

Sejak lebaran kemarin kayanya kondisi badan gw makin ga beres deh...jadi gampang bener kayanya sakit..yang pusing lah..demam..mimisan..datang silih berganti..

Dalam seminggu terakhir ini kayanya ada tiga kali udah mimisan..n pastinya selalu ditemani ma pusing..nah kalau pusing ini nih..kayany lebih sering pusingnya dibanding ga akhir-akhir ini..kalau demam sih masih mendingan..masih agak jarang..yah paling 2 kali aja dalam seminggu ini..

Emang sih selain cuaca yang agak aneh akhir-akhir ini..atau kecapean pulang balik jakarta-bandung..selain itu, gw juga agak banyak pikiran sih..mungkin itu juga yang menyebabkan kondisi gw drop..gw sih ngerasa pikiran gw yang punya andil lumayan ke kondisi gw..

Segimanapun kerasnya usaha gw untuk ga terlalu memikirkan apa yang sering seliweran di benak gw..tetap aja gw berakhir di titik yang sama..gw bukannya ga pengen men-set pikiran gw ke mode yang lebih menyenangkan dan enjoy my life whatever it is..gw pengen banget ngedoktrin diri gw kalau gw baik-baik aja..tapi ga bisa..

Gw ngerasa cape banget dengan akumulasi masalah..yang itu-itu..rasanya pengen nyerah aja..gw pengen berhenti..


Jakarta, 1 Oktober 2009
11.30 am

kekasih yang tak dianggap

aku mentari tapi tak menghangatkanmu
aku pelangi tak memberi warna di hidupmu
aku sang bulan tak menerangi malammu
aku lah bintang yg hilang ditelan kegelapan

selalu itu yg kau ucapkan padaku

Reff

sebagai kekasih yg tak dianggap
aku hanya bisa mencoba mengalah
menahan setiap amarah

aku sang bulan tak menerangi malammu
aku lah bintang yg hilang ditelan kegelapan

Repeat reff

sebagai kekasih yg tak dianggap
aku hanya bisa mencoba bersabar
ku yakin kau kan berubah

Repeat reff